I’m a big fan of battle reenactments.  One of my projects as a parish councilman was to hold reenactments from the Battle of New Orleans, which was fought on the “plains of Chalmette”, around the anniversary of the climactic failed British charge against Andy Jackson’s rampart.

            As we approach the anniversary of that other great historical event that visited St. Bernard Parish (this time the locals lost), I find myself doing a reenactment of packing away what possessions that survived Hurricane Katrina as Hurricane Gustav begins its long creep towards the gulf coast.

            Here are some words of advice for those in the New Orleans metro area who were miraculously spared of loss from the 2005 storm season.

            Empty the Freezer Before You Go: The combined cost of all of those perishables in your fridge and freezer is far less than the cost of replacing them when power inevitably goes out while you’re in exile.  The putrid stench will wreck your taste buds for weeks and it’s better to have to make another trip to Breaux Mart than one to Best Buy. 

            Archive Pictures:  Since almost every close member of my family had water in their house over Gary Coleman’s head, lots of irreplaceable photographs were lost.  The way to go in this day and age is digital for many reasons: it’s cheaper, all photo development places process digital and you can carry thousands of pictures on a tiny SD card.  Since most people over the age of 9 have pictures taken with film, it would be wise to make a trip to Office Depot to pick up a scanner.  They run less than $100 and have multiple features (printer, fax, etc.).  If you have some time between now and “getting’ out day”, start scanning your pictures.  Also don’t forget to take your computer tower with you, if it’s a desktop.  Monitors and keyboards are easily (and less expensively) replaced. 

            Take What’s Most Important:  Deciding what stays for the water and the looters and what goes is an emotionally overwhelming ritual.  People should make a list of the ten things that they would take with them that cannot be easily replaced.  In other words, electronics can stay behind, scrapbooks, family videos and items of great sentimental value go.

            Plastic Containers Are Good:  Run to the local discount store and buy high volumes of plastic containers for what you plan to leave behind.  This was my biggest mistake from Katrina since the foot of water on my second story ruined more stuff than the 10 feet of water on the first floor. 

            If You Have Pets, Act Now:  Though the state government has magnanimously set up a system for evacuating domesticated animals (mainly because pet owners vote), you should make your own arrangements immediately and not rely on people who should be more concerned with rescuing dumb people who chose to stay behind and not helpless animals with irresponsible owners.  You’re not doing your morbidly obese cast “Fluffy” any favors by making her ride out the storm with you because of the hassle of finding accommodations that take pets.  Pet owners should be aware that some relatives are allergic to animals and many hotels don’t want their foreclosure auction furniture damaged (or marked) by “Biscuit”.

            Someone Please Get a Memo to Al Hughes That a Storm Is Coming:  I was more than a little peeved that the Archbishop of New Orleans didn’t bother canceling church across the metro area the weekend of Katrina with many priests not knowing when they should leave.  Why does this matter?  Old people are more apt to listen to religious leaders than their own family members.  If Mass gets canceled here, then they’ll have extra incentive to leave early in order to fulfill their weekend obligation in safer confines.

The Value of Competence

            One thing that is thankfully different between the Katrina and the Gustav scrambles is the voice on the radio.  While listening to Governor Bobby Jindal’s press conference spelling out the details of logistical deployments and contraflow plans, I could not help but think about how much Kathleen Blanco’s ineptitude contributed to a paralyzed state response three years ago during the Katrina crisis.  

It gives me some solace that if the worst happens (again), that St. Bernard Parish will not be forgotten by Baton Rouge as it was during Katrina in which search and rescue personnel from western Canada got into the parish before the state did. 

Louisiana finally has the governor we deserve.

by Mike Bayham, a former councilman of St. Bernard Parish and a GOP activist.