Saturday, 11 June 2016 09:46
Thin-line separates Kate Middleton and Princess Diana
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When famed singer Karen Carpenter died of heart failure brought on by anorexia, she weighed less than 90 pounds.

How much does Kate Middleton weigh now?

Perhaps not much more, and Kate is much taller than the 5-foot 4-inches that Karen Carpenter was.

Kate Middleton, much criticized for doing no work and avoiding her royal duties, managed to hold a party in her Kensington Palace backyard for her sports charities.  Prince William was nowhere to be seen, but Kate greeted her guests in a slinky, long marine-blue column dress by Roland Mouret that fanned out ever so slightly at the hem, and the hem curled around Kate’s enormous fat toes which poked out from almost-invisible sandals that made it appear as though Middleton was walking barefoot.

But Kate’s skeletal figure gave cause for alarm.

No breasts, no hips, no curves.

Online commentators said Middleton looked like an ironing board ensconced in a bright blue cover.  Some said she looked ill.  And those who are believed to be trolls paid by the Middletons relentlessly commented that Kate looked beautiful and elegantly “thin,” and that anyone who said, “too thin” was simply “jealous.”

One wonders whether Kate could walk very far without collapsing.  Is this why the “gala reception” was held at Kensington Palace?

Makeup covered but could not hide the enormous dark, puffy circles around Kate’s eyes.

The gown’s sharp “V” cutout neckline and dropped-band shoulders reminded us of that infamous “f*** you!” sexy black dress that Princess Diana wore to an opening at the Serpentine Gallery, the same night when her estranged husband admitted his adultery with Camilla Parker-Bowles on television.

But Diana looked positively beefy in that dress!  She looked healthy, glowing, and like someone who no longer suffered from bulimia.

Kate looks like a spare rib devoured of meat, in contrast.

It’s becoming alarming. 

Bold gypsy-style gold hoop earrings were Kate’s only jewelry, apart from her dead mother-in-law’s engagement ring.  These came across as “common”– nothing special as might be seen from pieces in the Royal Collection.  And their enormous size only served to make Kate’s head look too large for its support– a thin neck propped up by skeletal collar bones.  And, true to form, Kate brought along a teensy black clutch purse that she kept pressed up against her crotch for much of the backyard cocktail hour.

Kate’s still got that crotch-thing going.

And she’s also got that butt-crack thing going.

Just last week, at the Houghton International Horse Trials in Norfolk, very near the palatial Royal Family mansion Anmer Hall, she showed us all her backside, yet again– this time, plumber-handyman-style, while squatting on the ground with a companion named James Meade, whose dead-ringer look-alike-looks for young Prince George are raising more than a few eyebrows. 

James reportedly befriended Prince William when they both attended Eton in their teenage years.  And, more curiously, Meade briefly dated Kate Middleton after Prince William briefly dumped her in 2007.  They attended the Badminton Horse Trials together.  Kate startled both aristocrats and royals on that day by wearing a white miniskirt, leather boots, and making sure to wave to Prince Charles and Camilla, who graciously responded by inviting her to visit them in their royal box.

Best to avoid a spectacle.

But apparently, William held no hard feelings about Meade dating Kate. At Kate and William’s 2011 royal wedding, James delivered half of the joint best man’s speech with Thomas van Straubenzee at the Buckingham Palace reception.

James Meade is so-so-so close to Kate Middleton and Prince William!

And there’s more.

William and Kate recently honored James by making him their daughter, Princess Charlotte’s, godfather.  And William recently served as an usher at James’s marrying-up to Lady Laura Marsham, daughter of the eighth earl of Romney.  Prince Harry also attended.  But Kate was noticeably absent at this wedding, and eyebrows were indeed raised when she reportedly sent her sister, Pippa, to be her proxy.

Word was, Pippa was Kate’s spy at James Meade’s wedding. 

Kate-watchers caught Kate walking with Mama Carole Middleton, the Meade look-alike children, and Mrs. James Meade pushing the baby stroller– all playing happy families at the horse trials. 

The Daily Mail took the trouble to white-out Kate’s butt crack, but it was visible all the same.  Newspapers decided to write about Kate’s stripy top and how much it cost, without mentioning that it was too short to cover her butt crack from behind. 

Anorexia, crotch-pressing, butt-cracks hanging out, old boyfriends who are new baby look-alikes, and blue ironing boards!

All this proves that one CAN be “too rich and too thin.”

But didn’t the Princess Diana years teach us all just that lesson?

Is the Royal Family not paying attention?

Last modified on Saturday, 11 June 2016 09:52
Sarah Whalen

sarahw2Sarah Whalen is a university journalism instructor, attorney and author.

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