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Monday, 08 August 2016 08:03
Hillary Clinton's short-circuited love affair with the lying
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Remember that old ad convincing people not to take drugs? The one with the sizzling, frying egg making noises like “ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

Last week, we heard the sound of Hillary Clinton’s famous brain suddenly “short-circuiting.”

“Pppppppppfffffffttttt!”

We know Hillary’s brain “short-circuited” because Hillary said so herself, last week when she did that thing she hasn’t done for the past eight months.

It’s called “a press conference.”

But even then, Hillary’s “press conference” was exceptionally selective: No “white” journalists were there. Instead, Hillary appeared before what CNN called “a gathering of black and Hispanic journalists” whom she thought would be easier to puff-ball, since so many of these particular demographics support her presidential candidacy.

One can only imagine the furor if a group of journalists held a “gathering” for “white (European) journalists” but hey– whatever.

Even the National Association of Black Journalists and the National Association of Hispanic Journalists proved that race and ethnicity are no barriers to ferreting out the truth in unexpected ways.

Especially when the interviewee’s brain starts going ““ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

Exercising her imperial Clintonesque style before the “black and Hispanic journalists,” Hillary deigned to take only a few questions. And she looked so drawn, haggard and exhausted– with enormous, double-digit rings around her bulbous, unfocusing eyes-- that the selected “press” barely dared to ask her anything.

Hillary indeed looked not only “unhinged,” as Trump pointed out, but positively ill, unsteady, and ready to collapse. Her perfectly frosted hair, bright blue designer pants suit, and a slather of makeup hid neither her obvious mental strain nor her unhealthy appearance. And when one scrappy reporter asked Hillary about her recent claim in a FOX News interview that FBI Director James Comey said her answers had been “truthful” when Comey had, in fact, said that Hillary’s answers were untruthful (but that the FBI was not going to recommend criminal charges because Hillary was too ignorant to have formed any “criminal intent”), Hillary’s brain did indeed appear to frizz and fry and crackle and...well, “short-circuit.”

“Ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

“I was pointing out [to FOX] in both of those instances, that Director Comey had said that my answers in my FBI interview were truthful,” she said. “That really is the bottom line here. What I told the FBI, which he said was truthful, is consistent with what I have said publicly. I may have short-circuited, and for that, I will try to clarify.”

Hmmm....

In fact, Comey said just the opposite.

Now, we’re used to Hillary lying– it’s compulsive for her. We grew up with Hillary lying about Bill’s sex attacks and...uhm... sexual “affairs” with Paula Jones, Gennifer Flowers, and right up to Monica Lewinsky. Bill’s lying led to his impeachment, where he lied again, and then to his disbarment from law practice and judicial fines in lawsuits specifically for lying under oath. Hillary’s lying about Bill’s lies is just her way of showing marital devotion.

Lying is how the Clintons got to the White House.

And lying is how they plan to get back there.

But sometimes, a human brain can only take so much lying before it starts to spark and sputter and burn up and “short circuit” and go “ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

Hillary kept mum about her own alleged love affair with Vincent Foster, the Arkansas Rose Law Firm partner whom she made Bill’s White House counsel. When Hillary’s “Whitewater” scandal erupted, Foster’s dead body was found in a strange place with a fatal gunshot wound and a web of deceit woven all around it. “Travelgate” and the disappearance and mysterious re-appearance of Hillary’s law office billing records are more lies. And Hillary keeps company with other significant liars like Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren, who hates that Trump calls her “Pocahantas” for her false claim to be a Native American. But Hillary herself saying that her own brain “may have short-circuited?”

That is likely a true statement.

Hillary also got a few “guffaw”-style laughs and many gasps at the same press conference when she called Trump her “husband.”

“Ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

Well, okay– she said it, then tried to stop herself, but it was too late! Hillary, her brain afire and short-circuiting, sputtered away with this: “I hope you will compare what I’m proposing to what my husb— . . . my opponent is talking about.”

Was that a Freudian slip?

Was it something akin to “Stockholm Syndrome” where a kidnaped captive falls in love with their kidnapper?

Is Hillary Clinton, after so many years of being unhappily but lucratively married to faithless Bill, finally falling in love with... a man? With the very masculine, very rich and pithy Donald Trump?

Perhaps her subconscious is!

Maybe Hillary’s “short-circuited brain” will make her “accidentally on purpose” vote for “Trump” in the general election!

Hey– whatever!

Hillary’s not just “unhinged”– she’s a woman in love with her nemesis!

“Ppppppppfffffffttttt!”

Last modified on Monday, 08 August 2016 16:03
Sarah Whalen

sarahw2Sarah Whalen is a university journalism instructor, attorney and author.

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