Sunday, 23 December 2012 21:36
Santa gifts for New Orleans Saints, Brees, Jerry Jones, Payton
Written by 

benson-boogeyIt is customary within the writing profession to come up with a Christmas gift list for everybody we have written about in the sporting community over the past year.



A good reason for this practice is because it is always amusing to take a final poke at the people you pillory, but the real reason writers employ this annual device is because it takes minimal forethought or creativity. In other words, lazy scum that we are, the annual yule gift bag story is a writers gift to himself because there is little heavy lifting involved. So I hope you enjoy my Christmas gift to me:

     For Saints and Hornets owner Tom Benson, Santa's pack includes a problem-free 2013 for his football team and a new Pelicans logo for his basketball team. For Saints Coach Sean Payton, Santa has a new five-year contract for $8 million per year and a blank at the top where Payton can write in the team of his choice. For Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, a five-year $8 million contract for Nick Saban. For QB Drew Brees, a black and gold rag he can stuff in his mouth while watching the video "How Not to Throw into Triple Coverage." For Saints receivers Marques Colston, Lance Moore, Devery Henderson, Joseph Morgan and Jimmy Graham: Balls in the air! For Saints running backs: Marc Ingram, 20 carries a game; Chris Ivory, good health; Darren Sproles, 15 touchdowns; and Pierre Thomas, more Energizer Bunny batteries.

     For the New Orleans Hornets, C Cody Zeller of Indiana as their No. 1 draft pick. For Tulane, an invitation to return to the Southeastern Conference. For Les Miles, a victory in the SEC championship game, which earns a trip to the 2014 BCS title game. For LSU Basketball Coach Johnny Jones, the fence that former Coach John Brady built around the state to keep all prospects at LSU. For new Kentucky football Coach Mark Stoops, seven wins. For UK basketball Coach John Calipari, three sophomores and a senior. For Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson, a tie for NFL "Comeback Player of the Year." 

     For Arizona Assistant Basketball Coach Joe Pasternack, an offer to become head coach at Alabama. For football announcer Lee Corso, a new Magic 8-Ball to predict games more correctly. For Kansas City 2B Johnny Giavotella, a starting job and a .320 batting average for 2013.  For the Boston Red Sox, that prospects SS Xander Bogaerts, RHP Matt Barnes, RHP Allen Webster and RHP Rubby De La Rosa make a difference in 2013. For soon-to-be traded QB Tim Tebow, a CD of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer."  And, finally, to the members of the U.S. Ryder Cup team, who blew the biggest lead in history: A lump of coal in all of your stockings! Merry Christmas to all!         

His new book, "Where the Water Kept Rising," is now available in local bookstores, at and at his website:


{jvotesystem poll=|25|} 


Will Saints be in the Super Bowl?

 More New Orleans Saints news    
Join the Saints GroupNew Orleans This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.







  Want more Louisiana news?               




Louisiana News

Louisiana Politics

Louisiana Business

Louisiana Government

 Baton Rouge News

Lafayette News

Shreveport  News

New Orleans News

Signup for Our Newsletter


Scan the QR Code above using your smartphone to signup for our newsletter.

Login to post comments
  • Despite 5th plea, Schiff says House Intelligence Committee pursues Flynn's documents
  • Facebook Live: Discuss harm of Trump budget proposal on Louisiana coastal economy, restoration
  • Governor Edwards welcomes Pence with Medicaid, budget, Louisiana coast wishlist
  • World Premiere tonight in N.O. Bilderberg, the Movie

flynn2Despite General Michael Flynn’s announcement via his counsel that the General and former head of National Security, would take the 5th Amendment in Congressional proceedings, the Intelligence Committee will pursue information, regardless.

Read More

560 usgs land loss map 2The efforts to rebuild the Louisiana coast has suffered a major and immediate setback, assuming that Congress goes along with the most recent budget proposal from President Trump.

Read More

penceToday, Governor John Bel Edwards welcomed Vice President Mike Pence to Louisiana as he Veep is attending a event with top Louisianqa Republican officials. Along with the welcome, however, is a wishlist of requests including an item of recent vinctage involving the current Trump budget which tears a hole into the funding for the Louisiana coastal restoration. 

Read More

bilderbergIt is always an honor when a movie premiere is held in New Orleans and tonight is no exception. At 7:30 p.m. Bilderberg, the Movie will premiere at the historic Prytania Theatre, 5339 Prytania Street.

Read More


Sen. Appel talks budget, economy


Dead Pelican

Optimized-DeadPelican2 1 1