With Congressman Bill Cassidy narrowly beating US Senator Mary Landrieu in a heart-throbbing humdinger of a barn-burner, we can now release our results to the public. Please keep your comments to yourself as nobody cares anyway.
We also apologize for being so tardy in our releasing these very results. We are forever mindful how speedily the AP declared a winner Saturday night in the US Senate race--only two micro-seconds after the polls closed. However, speed to announce means nothing to us. Instead, we are driven by the quality of our endeavors, not the rapidity. Paraphrasing a great former Louisiana US Senator, who paraphrased a great US President, “The joy has been in the fight. The Bayoubuzz-mortem awards will always be worth fighting for”.
So, the envelopes please…and the winners, and losers are:
THE HOTTEST AND MOST BURNING QUESTIONS
How many Democrats can we fit into a phone booth?
Will Mary Landrieu reside in Washington DC or New Orleans?
Will Mitch Landrieu change his last name before running for statewide office, such as Governor?
Who paid the tab when the Cassidy’s met the Maness’s for dinner at Ye Olde College Inn
THE BIGGEST FLOP
The reality TV Show, The Governor’s Wife and Governor Edwin Edwards’ and his wife’s latest run for the Congressional roses
THE REAL WINNERS
Bill Cassidy, David Vitter, LSUHSC, the National GOP, Roger Villere and the Louisiana GOP
Democracy and televised debates, Mary Landrieu, the Louisiana Democratic Party, the National Democratic Committee, President Barack Obama. Did we forget the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee for pulling out of the TV ad markets?
WORST TV AD
Mary Landrieu and Moon Landrieu talking politics
BEST TV AD
Student spelling Landrieu—O, B, A, M, A
Mary Landrieu’s last-minute radio interview with Jeff Crouere on WGSO which lasted roughly eleven minutes before the Senator had to go to the restroom, thus, a sudden departure.
MOST IRRELEVANT POLITICIAN DURING ELECTION
MOST IRRELEVANT ORGANIZATIONS DURING ELECTION
Endorsements from the Times Picayune, The Gambit, The Shreveport Times, The Monroe Star and The Alliance for Good Government
MOST REPEATED WORDS
Obamacare, 97%, “I’m with you” and Amnesty (word on the street is the Cassidy campaign wanted to use Morris Bart’s “I’m on your side” instead but was threatened by a lawsuit for Trademark infringement.
BEST ACTRESS AWARD
Mary Landrieu delivering her concession speech
TEA PARTY’S WE THE PEOPLE AWARD
First prize goes to the Alligator. The second place goes to Sarah Palin who first endorsed Col. Rob Maness and then used the same speech to back Bill Cassidy
FASTEST FEET AWARD
Bill Cassidy leaving the last debate to avoid questions from the media about his LSU part-time stipend
DIRTIEST TRICK AWARD
Louisiana GOP, Senator Guillory and the Black Conservative Fund claiming Opelousas Mayor Cravins was seriously promoting voter fraud by advocating “vote twice, vote often”
MOST IMBECLIC STATEMENTS
Tie: Mayor Cravins’s statement regarding voting twice and his son’s (Landrieu Chief of Staff)Don Cravin’s remarkable revelation that Landrieu would vote for Obama 97 percent of the time, if she were re-elected.
The airline stewardesses trailing Mary Landrieu during their Air Mary cameos
Tie: “Air Mary” and “Double Bill”
JOHN WAYNE TOUGHNESS AWARD
Col. Rob Maness swaggert when announcing “Obamacareis an abomination and needs to pulled out by theroot”
Democratic GOTV (get out the vote)
Voters smack Vance McAllister in his comeback for US Congress after his “kissing congressman” scandal
MOST ACCURATE POLL
Vox Populai’s Nov. 16-Nov. 17 poll with winning margin 11 points. Cassidy won by 11.9% (according to Real Clear Politics)
LEAST ACCURATE POLL
Rasmussen’s July 8-July 9 polls showing Landrieu winning by 3 in a head-to-head contest
THE MOST INVISIBLE MAN
THE MOST VISIBLE MAN