Kate Middleton is scheduled to give birth, uhm...well, it is not exactly known when.

We’re back at the crime scene of the Mail Online’s article about how Prince William and Kate Middleton are going to save the Royal Family with the Middleton’s "middle class values."

Queen Elizabeth II is missing a Commonwealth meeting, and is sending her son and heir apparent, Charles, Prince of Wales, in her stead.

The British are getting tired and fed-up with the ever-maneuvering Middletons, especially with Mamma Carole Middleton, who is now trumpeted by none other than "Tattler Magazine" (a very upper-crust fusion of Vogue and The Enquirer) as being the new "power behind the throne," due mostly to her insistence upon controlling William and Kate, and now getting her talons into the new royal baby.

Quick, quick, hurry, hurry!

Duh, duh, duh!

While secretly pregnant, she wore high-heeled boots while whacking away with a hockey stick just before she checked herself in for “extreme morning sickness” and a nurse attending her ended up dead.

It’s now official!

I have an urgent news bulletin.

Who is behind recent rumors that Kate Middleton, wife of Prince William, is “in danger of not going to full term” with her current pregnancy?