Wednesday, 01 June 2016 16:17

Kristol gives French, kiss seal of approval, as new Trump competition

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Bill Kristol, the editor not the actor-comedian, has decided to derail Donald Trump’s Republican presidential bid by re-animating Dwight David Eisenhower– the only five-star general to ever become a U.S. President.

Not counting Ulysses S. Grant.  Or George Washington.

Yes.  Kristol is reaching back in time to re-animate Dwight David Eisenhower, ally of the Free French...David....uhm....

Wait, wait, don’t tell me....

David?  David WHO?

NOT Dwight David Eisenhower, the World War II military hero who became America’s 34th president.

NOT Dwight David Eisenhower, Supreme Commander of U.S. Armed Forces in Europe.

NOT Dwight David Eisenhower, Supreme Commander of NATO. 

Bill Kristol says the real Republican presidential candidate should be Dwight David...I mean, uhm, David.. David....

Dwight David Eisenhower French!

I mean, Dwight David French!

I mean, Dwight David...David French?


Bill Kristol wants Republicans to elect...excuse me– not elect, but acclaim David French as the new Republican presidential candidate.  Just stick David French up before the card-carrying Republican masses at the upcoming convention and scream out, “Victory!” to thunderous applause and clouds of swirling confetti.  

“Da-Vid!  Da-Vid!  Da-Vid!”

Lost of screams, and balloons galore.

You remember Bill Kristol, don’t you?  Kinda, sorta?  Kristol is the guy who was charged by Senator John McCain to go find McCain a Republican vice-presidential running mate that would help the Republicans win, and defeat Barack Obama.

Kristol was so well-qualified to do that, being the editor of The Weekly Standard magazine.
What, you haven’t read that?

How can you call yourself a conservative, or a Republican, and NOT have read The Weekly Standard?

I mean, these editors and writers are the people in whom McCain entrusted his entire presidential bid!

But those of us who know and remember were at least hoping that the Republican Party might have learned something, and remembered the lesson it was taught when it sent Billy Cristal...uh, wait, wait, don’t tell me... I mean, Bill Kristol, to select and vet the vice-presidential running mate.

And Kristol brought us Sarah Palin.

This is the danger in sending a writer to do a man’s job.

Kristol went off to the wilds of Alaska to find a red-blooded Republican running mate for Vietnam War hero McCain, and brought us back Alaska’s governor, Sarah Palin, who apparently showed Kristol photos of a deer she’d shot, Annie Oakley-style, showed him her and her husband’s his-and-her snow mobiles, showed him her buckskin overalls and pan-fried him up a salmon she caught herself, and then left the backwoods to infuse McCain’s presidential campaign with nothing but doom and disaster, and no end of interesting writing material.

Which included her eldest daughter’s out-of-wedlock pregnancy and faked engagement, and a possible faked pregnancy by Sarah Palin herself.

Bill Kristol sucked all this in, and still decided that there was NO WAY that the thinking Conservative American public would NOT vote for Sarah Palin, and also McCain.

But Kristol was wrong.

Is he wrong again, today?

Now, after unleashing the before-obscure Sarah Palin on the unsuspecting Conservative world and incidentally gifting her with a juggernaut, highly-paid career as a convention speaker, Kristol wants Republicans to acclaim David French, and French wants Mitt Romney to stop Donald Trump.

I’ve never been to Alaska, but I know a great big snowmobile ride to nowhere when I see one.

David French?

A bearded, bald, supercilious-looking fella who, true, true, true, served in Iraq and was awarded a Bronze Star, has a nice wife and three kids and seems very, very smart.  Like Kristol, French is an editor for another prestigious Conservative mag that Trump’s more devoted followers may never have heard of– The National Review. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am all for writers getting involved, entering politics, running for the presidency.  After all, Thomas Jefferson was quite a writer, wasn’t he?

But then as soon as I type this, the hairs on my neck stand straight up and give me chills when I suddenly think that Adolf Hitler wrote one heck of a best-seller that almost destroyed the Western world and led to hideous genocide.  Hitler was also a war hero in World War I, and like Kristol’s candidate, was decorated for bravery– twice.  Hitler was awarded the Iron Cross, Second Class, in 1914 and Iron Cross, First Class, in 1918, a rare honor for a soldier of Hitler’s  rank and non-combat position.  Hitler’s Iron Cross, First Class was awarded after he showed bravery during an attack in open warfare, for fighting on a day in which his depleted regiment lost 60 killed and 211 wounded.

A writer and a soldier and a war hero as a presidential candidate?

So, you never know.

Many call Donald Trump “the new Hitler.”

But the real monsters can be those whom you least suspect.

Which is how a talented writer and a brave soldier came to almost rule the world in the first place.

And he was a man who wasn’t anything like Donald Trump.

You think that Hitler did what he did all by himself?

But his medals for heroism were real.  And his book, Mein Kaumpf, is still a world-wide best-seller more than a half-century after his death.

We know a lot about Donald Trump. To date, the worst thing he seems to have done is his failed “Trump University.”  Trump’s not a war hero, but he does have several best-sellers.

So, this election, thanks to Billy Crystal, no, no, no, I mean, Bill Kristol, there is a new Republican presidential candidate on the horizon.

David French– a guy we’ve never heard of.

A writer.  A soldier.  A medal.  

Shouldn’t we know something more?

Sarah Whalen

sarahw2Sarah Whalen is a university journalism instructor, attorney and author.

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