Tuesday, 12 March 2013 16:22

Jindal to visit Bayou Corne sinkhole, finally--no joke

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Jindal-collageThree cheers for our Louisiana governor, Bobby Jindal.   



Apparently from most media  accounts coming out of Washington D.C.,  the Louisiana Governor had the crowd rolling Saturday night with his now highly-touted Gridiron speech. 

Here are quotes from that address:

As you know, my people are one of our nation’s most accomplished minority groups – doctors…lawyers…business owners…and of course, I’m referring to the Republican Party.

They say this is a place where you can come and tell jokes about the President…poke fun at yourself…set political ambition aside and just generally say anything you want.

Kind of like the Romney campaign.

I spoke to Mitt the other day…told him that I was doing the Gridiron dinner…he said that 47 percent of you can’t take a joke.

This of course is the night for the Washington press corps and the President to kick back, share a few laughs, not take things seriously and just generally enjoy each other’s company.

Kind of like the President’s interview on 60 Minutes.

The Gridiron Dinner used to be known as the night the media and the administration set aside their differences — back in the days when they had some.

I was on the treadmill the other day and I caught something about the supreme and infallible leader ordained from on high stepping down, and I got all excited, but then I realized it was just the Pope not the President.

You may not realize this, but even though the President may look calm and relaxed…he is sitting here right now quaking in his boots…he’s terrified that I’ll upstage him again…like I did in that State of the Union response a few years ago.

Actually…after my infamous State of the Union response in 2009, I appreciate this opportunity to try to be funny on purpose.

I think my performance that night would have been better if I had just taken a 10-minute sip of water, interrupted by 30 seconds of speaking.

After my disastrous speech…people wrote and said a lot of mean stuff.  But when they spoke to me in person, they were kind as can be.

But…there was one exception to that.  My dad.  He called that night and said simply this – “I told you to go to medical school.”

But…what a difference a day makes…now some people have asked me if I intend to run for President in 2016?

And the answer is that I have no plans to run.  I’ve made that clear, over and over again…in Iowa…in New Hampshire…and in South Carolina.

There is a reason I’ve got no plans to run.

I mean, come on. What chance does a skinny guy with a dark complexion and a funny name have to get elected president of the United States?

The truth is – I am too skinny to run.  At least that’s what my friend Chris Christie keeps telling me.

Chris pointed out that my biceps are half the size of Obama’s guns. Not the president’s, Michelle’s.

Michelle Obama's guns?  Well, nevermind, Governor. 

But, perhaps the funniest line of the week came days later.  On Monday via an email press statement, he announced he made clear he was serious about a bubbling and brewing disaster.  Finally after seven months of his apparent refusal to visit the Bayou Corne sinkhole and to address the 350 anxious and displaced residents residents (despite their repeated and emotional pleas), the Governor has finally decided to show he is not a "skinny" guy.  Instead, he will finally "man-up" (sort of).  In the email, Jindal said, " On Wednesday, I will meet with officials from Texas Brine to push for expedited buyouts for those whose lives have been uprooted by the sinkhole. It’s time for Texas Brine to step up and do the right thing for the people in Bayou Corne."

Which statement is certainly odd from a politician who, for months, seemingly refused to "step up" to the Bayou Corne sinkhole to listen to his own constituents and frustrated residents-in-waiting. 

Only after Jindal finally got lambasted in the local traditional media after dodging questions asked to him last week by a WBRZ television reporter, did he find time (and perhaps some extra manly-bulk) from his ever-so busy national appearances to schedule a "meet and greet" with those beleaguered  sinkhole victims. 

Even Environmental activist and celebrity Erin Brockovich beat the governor to the area which is a mere ten-minute helicopter-ride away from the mansion.  On Saturday, the same day Jindal basked in the glory of the national media spotlight displaying his talents as a comedian, Brockovich made her own national news with her appearance in describing what she obviously considers to be a grave and dangerous site condition.    

According to news accounts, the "sinkhole" began as 400 square feet and is now over 9 acres. 

With the residents will surely appreciate Jindal's upcoming Bayou Corne sinkhole appearance there is still a mystery as to why the Governor took so long to make his presence and caring felt.  

Yet, perhaps it is time let bygones be bygones. In honor of his future historic visit puting aside his many campaign duties, maybe we can turn lemons into lemonade. With the legislature meeting next month, why not name that now-famous and ever-expanding Louisiana hole-in-the-ground, "Lake Jindal" and then declare the entire area as a state park for recreation and tourism? 

No kidding.

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