Tuesday, 12 November 2013 20:11

Curls, flirts and a Kate Middleton Remembrance Day hard to forget

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katemiddletonLookit Kate Middleton, and lookit those coily curls!

Flap flap, flit, flit, "look at me! Look at me!"


Kate Middleton flirted on the balcony!

But why did she do this on Remembrance Day?

Remembrance Day is a day for the funeral of the nation, a day when Great Britain honors and remembers its dead soldiers from the savagery that is ironically called "The Great War."

World War I. And then, all that came after.

And instead of just showing up in a black hat and a black coat with a red poppy pinned to it and looking suitably solemn and subdued, Kate showed up in all that and coily curls, laughing all the way.

Smirking, actually. Laughing and smirking. And fiddling with her hair.

Flap flap, flit, flit, "look at me! Look at me!"

Kate Middleton flirted on the balcony!

Kate Middleton did the same thing last Remembrance Day, on the balcony. Her behavior then was deemed so offensive that it was considered unlikely that she would again appear at the somber event.

If you don’t believe me, just check out this video with hilarious commentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfxKgcnhCdA.

Indeed, care had been taken by Buckingham Palace not to comment on whether Kate would appear in 2012's Remembrance Day ceremony, or not.

But then, there she was.

Last Sunday, Great Britain’s Remembrance Day, Kate Middleton showed up on a balcony overlooking the Cenotaph. From her perch, Kate could see Queen Elizabeth and Prince William laying down wreaths of bright red poppies, commemorating the fallen soldiers. Indeed, the United Kingdom’s population count never truly recovered from the loss of these men. It is a day for looking down at the ground, where all around the Kingdom, these men who died in a brutal war now lie. And it is also a day for looking up, to where we think that God might have planted answers to the mystery of so much violence in the word. And looking up, we saw....

Those coily curls! And Kate, twirling them, over and over, flipping and flapping and flitting her hair about, laughing, giggling, smirking, looking bored, and... flirting with Princess Anne’s husband.

Yes. I will write that last bit again, in case readers think that I am typing on automatic or something, and merely made a mistake.

Kate Middleton was flirting openly with Princess Anne’s husband.


But easy to see.

Everybody saw this, but nobody can or is writing about it.


Because it involves Princess Anne and her second husband, Tim Laurence!

And because it involves Kate Middleton, acting oddly, yet again. Out in public, where all with eyes can see.

Kate showed up for the ceremony suitably attired in black or was it a dark, dark navy, with her long hair extensions flapping about as they always do, except this time, she had got out her curling iron early and rolled her hair extensions up into these gigantic fat sausage curls that looked like....ah.....how best to say it?

They looked like something a Hassidic man would be proud to wear!

Yes. Kate Middleton was wearing her hair a la Payot.

As in long, Jewish male side curls.

A long, long time ago, before there was a Prince William or a Kate and Carole Middleton, there was Moses and the Bible, and Moses told the Hebrew men to not cut off their sideburns.

And they all said, why not?

And Moses replied, "Because God says not to." Centuries later, Kabbalists came up with all kinds of other answers, none of which are really so comprehensible because, after all, it is Kabbalah and mystic stuff and you have to be Madonna or Demi Moore and wear a red string bracelet and study with a Hollywood rabbi to understand.

But anyway, Moses said that God said that Jewish men should not cut their side locks, so in obedience, the men grew their side locks into shoulder length or longer fat sausage curls, and put a hat on top of all that.

Kate used a beret last Sunday to cover hers, but you get the idea.

Then, she smeared her makeup on, and headed off to the balcony to some heavy flirting with Princess Anne’s husband, Tim Laurence.

Kate curled and un-curled her snakey coils, batted her fake eyelashes, and smiled and giggled and did her best, but Princess Anne’s husband, to his credit, simply stood by stone-faced, and ignored her.

And that is good for Tim who, it is said, would like to become an admiral before he dies, and is well on his way to doing that, as long as he doesn’t flirt openly on the balcony at the Cenotaph with snakey Kate and her curly, coily side locks.

Thank goodness that it was a chilly day!


Because Kate and Tim were standing on a balcony, and you know what balconies make Kate Middleton want to do!

Yes! Strip off her clothes and then dance around naked! And, if you dare to look and take a photo of her, she and her balding husband who has no curly side locks whatsoever, will sue you and badger the gendarmes to put you into prison!

Since it was a cold and windy day, Kate kept her coat on, and compensated by flipping her coily side curls back and forth at Commander Laurence.

One wonders why, on the most solemn and saddest day of the year, Kate Middleton does these things.

Perhaps a woman who has spent her entire adult existence so far in trying to ensnare one man, Prince William, simply does not know what else to do!

Fine, then. And it looks like Commander Timothy Laurence and Princess Anne can take care of themselves.

But someone needs to take that curling iron away from Kate!

Before more hair extensions have to sacrifice their lives in the service of their country.



Bayoubuzz Staff

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