Friday, 13 January 2012 18:00

GOP Animal Farm: Rotund RINO’S vs. Hungry Hippos

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it’s officially time for gop to change their party’s symbol from the elephant to rinos, or hippos, or both.

it’s the rinos versus the hippos as the gop presidential circus rolls into south carolina. the ‘rinos’ are the ‘republicans in name only’, say the evangelical teabag wing of the party. the ‘hippos’ are the hypocritical teabag flagbearers who preach piety but practice infidelity, preach fiscal restraint while shopping at tiffany, who wrap bigotry in prayer and call it religion.

with that in mind i nominate two new images to replace the gop elephant as the party’s beastly image: the rhino who’ll say anything to get elected, and the dancing hippos who, when you lift their skirts reveal that…there’s nothing there.

there is a deep and ugly division within the republican party, and both sides are going at each other like rabid animals. it’s romney versus anybody-but-romney, and it’s feeding time in the political jungle.

the teabaggers refer to the romney-ites as rinos because mitt’s brand of conservatism isn’t pure enough for them. translation: he’s not sincere enough in his hatred of gays, minorities, the poor, the non-evangelical godless unchristian heathens…you know, most of us.

mitt says he’ll protect the misunderstood wealthiest one percent against the oppression of the working class, but teabaggers won’t have it. they despise mitt with almost the same passion they reserve for the godless commie socialist nazi president they say we have.

meanwhile, many fiscal conservatives and moderate republicans and their billion dollar super-pacs working for mitt have been behind all the embarrassing revelations on every teabag pretender that’s been derailed thus far. watching the teabag panderers rise in the polls then drop like rocks from planes reminds me of the arcade game whack-a-mole; as soon as they stick their nastly little heads out to become the teabag flavor of the week, the rinos beat them down

while teabaggers call romney-ites rinos, to the romney rinos, teabaggers are really just hungry hungry hippos: hypocrites on moral issues, on fiscal issues, on intolerance issues, who’d rather go down on their knees to defeat before a burning cross of self-righteousness rather than nominate someone who could actually challenge obama and have a shot at the not-deranged vote.

so the lines have been drawn at the animal farm and it’s rinos versus hippos, who can beat obama versus ideological purity, pandering opportunist with big bucks versus evangelical crazy nutjobs with big bucks trying to live in a past that never existed, who believe that in order to be a patriot they have to hate everyone who disagrees with them.

this is truly a fight for the ages…the dark ages.

in fact, what they’re really fighting over is the corpse of the dying elephant that is the current gop. after all, they’re facing a president in the throes of a pathetic economy, and who just passed a law that allows him to trample our constitutional rights and have soldiers disappear before us from our homes without legal recourse, judge or jury in the name of “security”. and it looks pretty clear that they’re gonna lose to this guy. how pathetic is that?

so let’s turn on our tv’s and watch the rinos and hippos tear each other apart and shred what’s left of the dignity of their party, now a sad sad version of what it used to be.

please don’t feed the animals, they’re fat enough.

-sid arroyo

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Sidney Arroyo

Sidney Arroyo is a progressive political activist and consultant who has worked on numerous campaigns in the New Orleans area.

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