Monday, 29 September 2014 18:18

Kate Middleton's Elizabeth Diana, Charles' tooth and a crown

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kate-baby Prince William broke a tooth!

We almost missed this newsflash while watching the motorboats racing up and down the Grand Canal at George Clooney’s wedding over the weekend.


And it’s kinda late news, anyway.

The Daily Mail reports that Prince William lost one of his teeth late last June while supposedly dancing at the high society wedding of the Prince’s best friend, Tom van Strawberry.  

I mean, Straubenzee.

The guy who married Lady Melissa Percy of the great noble family to the North.

Anyway, the story broken by the Mail’s crack reporteress, Charlotte Griffiths, is that Prince William and his good friend, Tom “Skippy” Inskip, were dancing about madly (she doesn’t say with whom) at the wedding reception when Skippy apparently accidentally gave William a good crack in the royal mouth and broke a tooth.

“Did he knock off a crown?” quipped a commentator.  “Is this an omen?”

Skippy is said to have knocked out one of the Royal William’s front teeth, which was quickly mended by an emergency dentist.

The whole thing was hushed up.

But now, over a year later, with Kate Middleton practically in hiding, it’s become news.

But what’s the real story?  Inskip must have given the Prince quite a thwacking in the mouth to knock a front tooth out.

Or did William just fall down drunk, and lose his tooth that way?

I think William might have lost his tooth when the wild bird atop Pippa Middleton’s hat flew off and attacked him.

The story was allegedly suppressed because William’s wife, Kate Middleton, was preparing to give birth to Prince George, and the news that her husband had injured his teeth while dancing exuberantly and/or falling down drunk might have upset her, since she wasn’t there to show off her booty.

But do the British, who have enjoyed more than half a century of a Queen who has never appeared once in public to be inebriated, want a drunk with fake front teeth to reign over them?

Much has been written about Prince Harry’s drinking himself into inebriation.  But are stories about William’s being snookered just now starting to come out?

People do sometimes get their teeth knocked out for all kinds of reasons, and it’s never pretty.

One of my brothers did also lose a front tooth, but he was racing a yacht when a spinnaker pole popped and hit him in the mouth.  We were very relieved that the tooth was all he lost.

So when Royals lose a tooth, maybe they could use a story like that.  Unless Skippy or someone in the inner circle decides to blab.

The only stranger news is that Andrew Morton, the British writer who turned the late Princess Diana’s angry, tearful rants into one of the best-selling secret autobiographies of all time, says that Prince William and Kate Middleton plan on calling at least one of the girl babies Kate is expecting “Diana.” or, even more infuriatingly to the present ruling family, “Elizabeth Diana.”

Because we all know how well Diana and her ex-mother-in-law got on.                  

And we all know how easy it would be for any baby girl to go through life being named after one of the most famous, if not notorious, of all recent British royals, and also one of the most beloved.  Which is which?

Maybe that thwack or punch or drunken fall jiggled William’s brains, too.

It doesn’t have to be a missing crown that makes it an omen.

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