Saturday, 11 October 2014 17:42

Birth Truthers romp as pregnant Kate Middleton rumps with Mum Carole

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kate-hospitalAre Prince William and Kate Middleton breaking up?

Oh, wait a sec, right, they are married, so the real question is....


Are Prince William and Kate Middleton fighting?

This is the big unasked question in the United Kingdom right now.


Because Kate Middleton has moved back home to her mommy and daddy in Bucklebury.

The story was leaked last week by none other than that so-often-right racy blog, “Celeb Dirty Laundry.”

The official excuse is that poor Kate is in the grips of that terrifying, rampant constant-vomiting pregnancy disease, and being in her newly-decorated, many-bedroomed, two-kitchened Kensington Palace home with servants and the Queen’s own obstetrician-gynecologist taking Kate’s temperature and a butler in full livery holding her puking bucket was just not enough.

Not even Kate’s other official home, Anmer Hall, with ten bedrooms, swimming pool, and a glass-conservatory “breakfast room” that was only recently completely “refurbished” for about $7 million dollars good enough for pregnant Kate Middleton.

Wasn’t Amner Hall supposed to be the couple’s “one and only” official residence?  Wasn’t this supposed to be the place where they would live “for many, many years to come?’

Or was that what they said about Kensington Palace”  

In fact, sources “close” to Kate claim that these mansions, Kensington “apartment” A-1, servants, Royal obstetricians and the like are part of the problem.

Here’s the official “People Magazine” quote from that super-close source: Kate “is not at all well, the poor thing,”and so, “[w]hen you're ill, the place you feel most comfortable is at home with your mum, isn't it?” 

Honestly, if “your mum” is Carole Middleton, wouldn’t you just be trying to escape?

Kate’s “close family friend” goes on to explain to People Magazine why life in palaces and million dollar mansions is so oppressive during pregnancy: “When she’s there [in Bucklebury, with Ma Carole and Dad Michael Middleton], Kate can just relax and sit on the sofa and not have to worry about having to deal with all the staff and everything else that comes with a big palace full of rooms.”

“A big palace full of rooms?”

Who is saying this nonsense?,,20395222_20859853,00.html.

God, save us from those big palaces full of rooms!

One wonders what will happen if, after her pregnancy, Kate catches a cold.  Will she go running back to Bucklebury?  What if she starts awake from a bad dream, or has a cramp?  Will Kate jump into her pricey Range Rover and head immediately back to Mommy and Daddy?  What about if she breaks a nail, or skins her knee, or gets toe fungus, or a cavity or a zit, or, or.....

Gosh.  Life is so very full of such and even worse pitfalls that it looks better to dispense with living in big mansions and palaces with intrusive servants altogether.  Why not just set up a bedsit in the Middletons’ Bucklebury house where Kate can just relax and sit on the sofa all she wants?

But hardly anyone believes this is the full story.

Or even the story at all.

Kate ran home to Bucklebury the last time she was supposedly preggers, and stayed there right up until she suddenly appeared on the front steps of St.Mary’s Hospital in Paddington with Prince William in shirt sleeves and a bundle said to be her baby.  The official story even back then was that life at Kensington Palace in “Nott Cott,” that four-bedroomed, two-living roomed house where Kate officially lived after her marriage to Prince William was just too dreadful and oppressive for occupation, so the new little family headed over to be with the Middletons in Bucklebury.  

Is anyone believing this nonsense?

Just a few weeks ago, when Kate claimed she was again pregnant, someone said to be close, close, close to William and Kate claimed that, THIS time, Kate would be staying at Kensington Palace the entire time and would not go bolting off to Bucklebury to be with her mommy and daddy.  This source said that Kate would be waited on, hand and foot, and also have the personal daily ministrations of doctors and nurses and the Queen’s own obstetrician-gynecologist to help her through her difficult pregnancy.

But this appears to be what’s happened.


The Birth Truthers believe they have it figured out: Kate is having another sham pregnancy, using a surrogate who is now haunting the attic in Bucklebury!

This time, though, some Birth Truthers speculate that Kate is being careful to choose a blonder, blue-eyed surrogate because Prince George turned out to be a very dark and swarthy baby.  This time, the Birth Truthers surmise, Carole wants a no-hair-dye infant.  The Birth Truthers have their binoculars pointed toward Berkshire to see whether any Nordic-looking types are lurking around Carole’s manor.  Or perhaps someone enterprising  from Russia, or the Ukraine, where supposedly the blondes come from.  Or Latvia.  Or Helsinki.

You get it.

It sounds far-fetched to me.  But as one determined Birth Truther pointed out, Kate’s notorious Uncle Gary once confided to an undercover reporter, as he chopped up something looking like cocaine, that he could easily obtain the services of prostitutes and “deliver” them anywhere.  When one reporter said he was living in London, Gary reportedly replied: “You need me as a friend. I have a company that delivers to your door. And I can get cocaine to your door here too.”  

Did Ma Middleton have a blond-haired, blue-eyed prostitute-turned-surrogate delivered to her door in Bucklebury?  The Birth Truthers are working on that hypothesis.

I mean, Uncle Gary’s not just Ma Middleton’s “friend”– he’s her brother.

And Kate’s Uncle Gary had a bit more to say to the undercover reporter about how things would play out once his niece, Kate, became William’s bride: “I’m going to be up front” in the new Royal Family formed by Kate and William’s marriage.  “I want a speaking part,” said Uncle Gary.

Has a blond, blue-eyed pregnancy surrogate been “delivered” to Ma Middleton’s door?

And will she produce the supposed daughter that Kate and William will now name "Diana?'

Rumors of Kate’s alleged fertility problems have persisted.   And while solutions to these problems may include surrogacy, the laws and customs governing the Royal succession may impact on the legitimacy of any heirs procured this way.

Is this the real reason why Kate Middleton can’t stand to be in a “palace with lots of rooms” right now?

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