Wednesday, 12 November 2014 16:18

Jindal, the Lord of Ethics, flies on campaign dime

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Jindal-kingRemember back to the days of yore in the year 2008 when newly-minted Louisiana governor, Bobby the Jindal (otherwise known as Bobby Jindal), rose into power on an ethics reform platform?


Under his plan, the state would be known far and wide as the “Land of the Ethics Gold Standard”.  Of course, Jindal would be the King of the Land.  Everything would be clean as purity.  The sad days of the great crime grime of the wicked Edwards of EWE would be scrubbed and be nevermore.  

And the people of the Land were so hopeful.

Yet, before one could utter “ethics violation”, the Jindal for Governor Campaign got nabbed.  It had failed to timely report a $118,000 donation from none other than the Louisiana Republican Party.

“Pay, Lord Jindal, Pay” was the cry from many of the people.

The wise voices urged the new leader, Jindal to pay the violation fine himself.  They argued the new Gold Ethics crown would not fit if he did not man-up like a King.   How could the Land become ethical if the ruler did not set by example?   Aware, the governor became even more strident: 

“No! I shall not pay transgression from my own pocket.  The campaign shall bear the penalty cross instead.”

“But, why not pay, Good Lord Jindal”?  An answer was not necessary.  All knew his eyes soon would be averted to the Crown of the future Exalted Ruler of the Americas.  Payment of an ethics violation would darken his name.  It just could not be.

Up came the master of the court, scribe Rolfe McCollister.  As the campaign treasurer, the holder of the money and then later, the administration’s transition chief,  “the fine of $2,500, I will pay”, he said.   But the people of the Land and some of the media of the lame-stream begun to loudly wonder 

Would such an arrangement be proper? Ethical?

Scribe McCollister admitted that as exchequer, the campaign error was his.  As many suns then passed, the governor felt the publisher had been a loyal competent servant.  Thus, Jindal anointed him to the LSU Board of Supervisors round-table.

Lord Jindal had campaigned for Governor on the wonderfully inspirational notion that “perception is reality”.  The governor urged “Care not for actual misdeeds, it matters not, it’s perception, that counts”.  Of utmost importance was how the lands of the outside would perceive the new Louisiana, especially after so many dreadful corrupt years, particularly those days after the destructive storms which reconstruction brought out the greedy masses.

And so, the governor learned a lesson or two from that embarrassing campaign ethics violation episode.

Since then, his Louisiana state campaign war-chest has greatly expanded.   It has become his personal treasure. With cash thrown at him by followers of the ilk and those seeking contracts, he hit the well-travelled roads on the Presidential Campaign USA.  His ever-so filled itinerary often sent him frequently to faraway places like Iowa, New Hampshire, North Carolina and other early primary states.  His Don Quixote-like quest “to reach the impossible dream” became apparent to all.  Taking lessons from his “Campaign Violation Episode”, the governor looked towards his campaign largesse to pay the continuing expenses of travel. 

And so, it was.  And so it would be.

Came curious voices from the masses—isn’t a Louisiana campaign fund legally prohibited to fund a federal election campaign’s expenses?  

But the governor’s wise counsel, political advisor, best friend and spokesperson, Timmy the Teepell protested, claiming—Rubbish. The governor has done no wrong and the Jindal campaign fund is doing none of the such.

“Not me lord Bobby Jindal.  No indeed”, repeats Timmy.

Instead, The Teepell on behalf of the Leader of the Ethics offered these  simple explanations: The state campaign coffers are funding the promotion of his master’s important issues and the future of other potential leaders of like mind and stripes.  It also benefits the Republican Party.  It has nothing to do with Jindal’s run for the Ruler of the Americas.  

Lofty policies already tackled by the governor were also fair game and were so desired from the outside.  To cure the Common Core curse manifesting in Iowa, Jindal came to the rescue.  To beat back forever that silent war seeking destruction of religious freedom, Jindal came to the rescue.  Repeatedly and often, Bobby the Jindal offered solutions, his wisdom to the masses of the lands afar.  The least he can do for those other Republicans and people, in need.

To create a tank full of thinkers to loft policy solutions to the problems of the Americas , he built a not-profit gaggle called America Next.  This group has been funded by men with big bags of money but whose identities the founder insists will remain hidden--even as he doles out state contracts.

To repeal the nations’ rapacious healthcare law created by Obama the Stupid, he traveled to the Province of DC with the America Next fix in tow. Not concerned over the major failings and revolt of his own healthcare ideas in his own kingdom, he had his answer.  The Obama the Stupid caused those too.

Having so much experience with foreign policy reform in the Land of Louisiana, he and America Next offered more remedies to a meeting of scribes at the nation’s capitol. 

Presidential campaign?  “Not”, said Bobby the Jindal who repeatedly uttered, I have the “job, I want” and the “job, I love”.  As proof,  shortly after The Mitt of the Romney lost the BIG ELECTION,  Jindal said those thinking about running for the Supreme Leader chair would need to have their "heads  examined".  Besides, who would want the President’s Castle, the House of White, since the The Jindal was comfortable in the Baton Rouge mansion, the house of his people.  Still, the Louisiana leader built America Next, continued his travel to mend the nation’s deep woes.

And while he has been fast as super-sonic light to talk at the drop of the sword, to any camera and audience about all matters related to the incompetent and feckless Obama the Dictator, he has no words to the scribes about his campaign cash use.    

Timmy the Teepell does, instead:  Of course, Louisiana benefits from his master’s travels paid for his campaign.  “You realize how critical the Kansas judgeship election is to Louisiana?  The trip has nothing to do with a run to be ruler of the Americas.  Zero.  Meanwhile, Jindal and wife pray and pray every day about their decision to seek the challenge of being the world’s most powerful person.

Back at his kingdom, the people have become even more restless.  The treasury is suffering from a fiscal famine. The peasants have no coverage for off-springs. Corruption breaks out at the castle.  Favortism becomes the rule.  No worry say Jindal and Teepell.  It’s Obama’s fault.  And so the people believe.

Thus, it is written.  The once thrice-a-week TP pamphlet and the probing man of WVUE TV, Lee Zurik  have exposed many of the payments for the Jindal road show covered by his state campaign.  In the latest edition of “Louisiana Purchase” and so many other places elsewhere, there are reams  evidence reflecting “pay to play” pursuits for plum-cabinet positions.  The same type of exchanges that besmirched the reign of Edwards the Ewe, the bearer of the crime grimes of the past, have become regular diet in the one-hopeful land.

 “Not what it seems.  Jindal the Governor only chooses the top industry’s captains for his royal court. Those numerous holders of the treasured seats simply support the Governor’s ideas”— Timmy the Teepell responds. 

‘Tis odd indeed.  Only weeks ago the Lass of the Landrieu’s paid over $30,000 for her rides on royal charter flights that similarly had dual and sometimes multiple purposes.  The Lass admitted her campaign’s sin which reimbursed the government.  The proper scrutiny for payment of the travel expenses has been deemed “what is the primary purpose of the travel”?

The Louisiana GOP lead the chorus exposing and mocking the Landrieu flighty shortcomings.   They traveled to-and-fro following her travels as she campaigned for the Great Seat of the Senate.   They even had ladies wear stewardess garb as a visual reminder prank.  So raises the ultimate of inquiries—just what have been the primary purposes of Jindal’s repeated travels?  Just imagine the costume befitting the $152,000 worth of travel expenses since 1912, the “ethics-concerned” Louisiana Republican Party could create for men to wear if they wanted to mock their own leader.  

So goes the Tale of the Land of Ethics Gold Standard.  The legends are full of journeys to Des Moines and Concord paid by his state campaign fund, while laboring part-time shifts for full-time duties funded by the people of the land.

Let all know that in the Land of Ethics Gold Standard, Louisiana, that the new reality remains the old: perception really matters not to those who lead.  The Lord of the Land has sovereign powers which he enjoys at his own pleasure until a new lord is chosen.  The great reforms of ethics not only did not last but failed before it began.

As it is just reported, Jindal the Governor will visit us once again from his state campaign-paid national crusade.  The purpose?  He will perform a Duck Dynasty-style cameo appearance in a new movie to fight the silent war against religion.

Most likely the travel shall be funded by the campaign.  After all, he’s likely doing it to promote his religious liberty.

Surely, not for free promotion for his self-possessed cause. 

{snippet 138}

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