British royalty has been whacking people for thousands of years.

Whacking people you don’t like, who are obstinate, who are doing things like standing in the way of your next marriage—well, whacking those people and almost anyone else, without any fear of punishment or retribution, that’s been one of royalty’s most powerful perks.

Did Thomas Markle, Sr. “lie” to Prince Harry?

That’s the question burning up the Daily Mail and British radio waves this weekend.

Commentators claim that Prince Harry telephoned his soon-to-be father-in-law, Thomas Markle, on May 11—eight days before Harry’s wedding to Meghan, and asked him…well, we don’t know exactly what.  Because Harry and Thomas had never met nor had they ever spoken before then.  So, how do we know for sure who said what to whom, when Thomas Markle can’t even be sure himself who exactly was speaking to him on the telephone?

Call him “Everyman.”

For that is who Thomas Markle, Sr., the estranged, increasingly noisy dad of Meghan Markle, really is.

Thomas Markle is one of us.  He’s got three kids, one of whom just married into the British royal family.  He’s got a pension. He’s got a silver Volvo.  He’s got a penchant for McDonald’s and KFC cuisine.  He’s got a testy ex-wife.  He’s got Social Security.  He’s got a heart condition.  And now, he’s got a fan club.

Yup—I kid you not.